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Author: Yih
Written: April 15, 2001
Dedication: Nakago x Soi supporters!
Disclaimer: All rights are Yu Watase.
"Nakago!"
The blond beauty turned to confront the commanding voice, but what he saw was nothing except a gray mist that covered everything to as far as his eyes could see. He whirled to another direction trying to seek out the unknown voice that had called to him. He found nothing but the endless mist. He slowly began to relax once he realized the foe was not going to materialize
"Nakago! You stand in front of the gates of eternal bliss!"
He squinted his perceptive blue eyes but he saw no such gates.
"Of course… you cannot see it. You stand in between a fine balance of heaven or hell. We are here to decide where your everlasting soul will reside indefinitely.
"I am your judgment."
Nakago's mouth twitched with a bitter reality. "Why don't you just tell me where I am going?" he inquired carelessly.
"You think the decision is that clear?"
"I assumed it would be," he retorted.
"Make no mistake, most of the actions that what you have done are worthy of hell. But there are those few incidents were you belong in the sacred realm of the deserving, the innocent, and the victim. That is why where to place you has fallen upon me. While you have tried to make yourself truly evil, you haven't succeeded totally because to be evil you cannot feel. And you have felt, haven't you?"
Soi, thought Nakago.
"So you have one mark against you from going into the direct route of infinite punishment. Do you have any others?"
"No," he replied quickly.
"You do realize this is your argument to get into heaven?"
"I have nothing else that is good."
"You are too quick to answer. You must think about these things carefully. State your case intelligently, strategically. Were you not the Shogun of Kutou?"
"I have nothing to say."
"But you do want to go to heaven, do you not?'
Nakago said nothing, his blue eyes staring out beyond the gray mist.
"Of course… I had forgotten what you valued most in life--the two things that you valued most in life. Your mother and Soi. That is what you thought about last, so those two must be the most important to you. But it is one of them--the reason why you are hesitant to defend yourself. It is one that you wish to see again. For you believe that one of them is in hell, am I right?"
"I have nothing to say. Make your judgment and leave me to my thoughts."
Nakago felt the voice withdraw from the world trapped between the light and the dark. It was when the voice was gone that he heard a familiar feminine voice. He turned around quickly unable to believe it was really her. He let his blue eyes roam over her beauty with tender eyes filled with an unmistakable love. He had thought he would never see her again.
Her words cut through what heart he did have. "So you have forgotten me for another?"
"It is not that!" cried out Nakago with more passion than anything he had ever uttered before.
"You would give up an opportunity for heaven for that girl! Why is it that you--my son would pain the one who that still loves you? In spite of the fact you killed me--your own mother!" cried out the beautiful blond.
"I had forgotten how lovely you were, mother," Nakago said absently.
"You have forgotten everything about me! Does the one who carried you in her womb, the one who brought you to life, not deserve the most of your love? For that is what you are telling me! Your decision to stay with that whore over your own mother rips my heart into two! Have you ever consider how much pain went through me when I learnt that it wasn't the Kutou soldiers that killed me? That it was my own son that did the deed!
"But I continued to deny it! How could my own son kill me--his mother? I can see now that it must have been an easy act for one such as you who would forsake paradise with a mother that still loves him for the satisfaction of a prostitute! I was wrong to continue to love you, but I cannot change that unconditional love; I can only hope that you will the wrongs in your decision and come with me to a place I have yearned for you to join me in. Will you not come with me?"
But Soi… she loved me despite my evil, he thought with deliberateness. Despite everything I did that was despicable, that I asked her to do--she did it. And she did it because I asked her to do it. There is no other explanation for her actions. She loved me. And I can still remember her final words to me. It was then that I knew what I felt for her truly. But I was too late… and now I'm given a chance to do something right against another loved one that I wronged. My revenge against the Kutou Emperor to avenge my mother failed and caused the death of Soi.
Especially since it was I that killed my mother in the first place. But I laid the blame on Kutou because if their soldiers hadn't come after us, my powers would never have been unleashed and I would not have killed my own flesh and blood. My choices have destroyed more lifes of my loved ones. But now I am given another chance… a chance to be with the mother that has always loved me--even though I killed her in cold blood.
"Will you join me?" his mother asked with pleading eyes that were identical to his. "In this place, where you will be happy with me?"
Soi… I am sorry.
"I will join you, mother."
It was when he said the final word, 'mother' that she vanished into the darkened mist. And from the crimson shadows that formed in her disappearance, out came a silhouette of his lost love, Soi. She stood there in black, her face sorrowful and her eyes bloodshot. She held out her arms to him, for him to come to her. But when he went to her, her arms fell to her side and she stared at him through unreadable eyes.
"Soi," he whispered. He lifted his hand to caress her cheek, but she moved away from him.
"You do not wish to be with me. And that is all that I have wished for," she said in a pained voice.
"I…"
"Do not speak. I have heard what you have told your mother. You will take her gift of heaven and leave me alone in hell. I am glad that you have opportunity," she murmured, then paused to think. "For I am would not wish you the hell that you deserve. It would be more than you could ever bear. And to be without you would be better than to be with you under the circumstances because I love you and I would never wish that upon you."
"Soi…"
"You have made your decision, go follow your mother," she said, ignoring him. She pointed to the golden image of his mother now gliding to him.
He glanced at his mother and knew what he would do.
He murmured the words, "I'm sorry."
And he turned back to Soi and grabbed her by the wrist. "I don't care," he declared. "I want to be with you."
Everything, his angelic mother, the black Soi, and the gray mist were gone after he blinked his eyes. Instead what stood before Nakago was a baby, naked with shimmering wings that kept him afloat from the clear ground. He moved closer to Nakago, his wings fluttering every so lightly. And when he spoke his voice was not that of an infant but of the voice before.
"You have chosen hell and instead you have been granted heaven."
"I don't care," muttered Nakago. "I want only Soi."
"You will your mother and…"
"SOI!" exclaimed Nakago, running to a Soi clad in glistening gold that set off her vibrant hair. He swept her into his arms as he had done many times before but what was different was that now he knew how much he loved her. He glanced deeply into her well known eyes and whispered, "I love you."
"I love you, too."
"I'd really like to hear that myself," declared his mother as she appeared next to the glowing couple.
"I love you, mother!"
"I love you, too, my son. And I don't blame you for anything."
Nakago felt his spirits soar as they had never had before. He now had the life he had never wanted and never strived for.
He couldn't be happier.
Author's Note: I was motivated to write this short story because I don't believe
that Nakago deserves to be unhappy. (Also by the fact I've never read a really
decent, thorough Nakago x Soi fic! And I don't believe any story has been done
quite like this… I'm all for ORIGINALITY!) He was never 'truly evil' because
as explained in the story that he did feel. I have no doubts in my mind that
Nakago did regret killing his mother and that he loved his mother. And his mother
was certainly not the only one he loved. I am sure that he loved Soi. And he
will always love her and in the end he wanted to be with those two beautiful
women that he loved so much. I have only added my ending to his story.