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A black hole swirled open and Dangyun emerged from it with a grimace on his beautiful face. He twisted his enchanting lips into a pained smile as he remembered every excruciating detail of that electrifying touch. His faithful dark servants appeared next to him, but he waved them away. He couldn't stand the sight of their ugly faces and their evil minds disgusted him. His mind pulled from the back of his mind a spell he had always remembered.
He chanted the binding spell:
"Forces I have called,
shadows I have rendered,
begone to the place of where you last landed!"
His trio of dark servants struggled against the powerful pull of the spell because the spell had been very clear. Their destination was back to hell, and anything was better than that bottomless pit. Their soulless eyes filled with an emotion of desperation as they tried to grab their master in a plea to let them stay. He pulled away from them and banished them back to their eternal punishment.
He sat down heavily and pulled from an invisible holding place the only book of white magic he had every written. The cover of the book had one pale blue chinese character that read: Eternity. He hesistated before finally opening the book and reading the first spell he had ever created.
Siwan Spell…
He had to shake the impulse to tear the page out and crumble his carefully crafted first spell. The terrible smile on his lips softened into something kinder. He caressed the page that Faa had written in her exquisite handwriting, and he remembered that long ago day…
---"Where are you, Dangyun?" called out the sweet voice of his Faa.
He shouted in a voice full of excitement, "I'm here! I think I've finally figured out how to make my first guardian!"
"Oh!" she exclaimed. "Can I watch?"
"Of course," he said amiably.
"What have decided to called it?" she asked as she stood behind him, glancing at his spell.
"Siwan."
She grabbed the sheet of paper from him and said in a teasing voice, "you need neater handwriting if you are ever to do a spell right! No wonder you're so much behind Clow! He's already on his fifth spell! If you wrote neater, maybe the first three spells you tried wouldn't have turned out so disastrous!"
"Don't remind me," he responded with childish anger.
"Cheer up! I was only joking, but if you want I'll recopy it for you," she offered.
"That would be great!"
"Why don't we try out this spell now?" she queried.
"I need a lock of your hair," he murmured.
"Well, take it then!"
Dangyun cupped Faa's face tenderly and slowly shifted his hands to take one strand of her glorious hair. He pulled it out carefully. He then placed the hair on top of the other materials he had gathered for the spell and warned her, "be quiet. This spell must go right."
She nodded and he began to whisper:
"By the light,
Of the greatest source,
I call upon the right,
To begin anew,
A creature of the enchanter,
Like the flower by my side,
She'll be my keeper--
My eternal guardian angel."
Nothing happened.
"It was perfect!" she exclaimed. "What went wrong?"
"What went wrong?" a childish voice echoed.
"It worked!" cried out Dangyun. "It really worked!"
They both stared at Dangyun's first created guardian with sheer awe. The creature resembled a nymph with Faa's chestnut hair and the lightest blue eyes. She was about the size of one of his smallest potion holding bottles, not much taller than three inches. Her size was simply precious, and the size of her eyes made her face even more proportioned like a child's!
"What's your name little one?" he inquired.
"Siwan," she declared. "I am to be your keeper."
Faa laughed sweetly. "She's so cute!"
Siwan bowed and bobbed her precious head. Then using her silver wings, she flew up to Faa and kissed the girl on the nose. Siwan giggled and rested herself upon Dangyun's shoulder. She declared, "I am to be like you, but I am not you! I am nothing but his and nothing more I shall ever be. But I can be yours too, if you desire! I was created only for him though, and I will always be with him."
"You are so serious," Faa teased.
"I am not totally you," Siwan responded.
"Of course you aren't," Dangyun murmured. "No one could be like Faa. She is perfection."
Faa blushed sweetly and denied it with a shake of her head.
However he might put it, he considered Siwan the epitome of the magical beauty, and Faa--his fated love.---
He had made his decision.
He was going to bring Siwan back. No one was more loyal to him than Siwan. And nothing reminded him of Faa quite as much as Siwan did. For Siwan's face was exactly like Faa's except with an unnatural ethereal glow. It was face he couldn't have forgotten even if he wanted to. He had decided he would allow Sakura her three defenders, but Siwan would his one defender.
There was no guardian quite like Siwan. For he had made her.
He closed the book with a sound emiited like the clap of thunder. And he chanted softly:
"From the eternity,
I have placed you.
Come forth my beauty,
To the place that is true.
Be my keeper once again…"
This time something did happen, and it was extraordinary. Out of nowhere, a swirl of liquid silver burst into the air, shattering several nearby bottles. In the of the twisting liquid, he could make out the face of his love. He hadn't know how much he had been looking forward to seeing Siwan again until he glanced down at his shaking hands. He laughed with a low intensity that he remembered that Faa had liked so much.---
It hurt to remember…
But he couldn't stop.
When I first saw… Faa--Sakura, I thought I was dreaming. From what I could gather from Clow's older half, Nadeshiko, while being a reincarnation of Faa wasn't the full Faa. Somehow, my beauty had managed to split herself into two. But somehow she managed to regain all of herself when she became 'Sakura.' I thought I hated her for leaving me, running from a challenge she couldn't handle. Now, I'm not so sure… because in the end he was right. I was Evil.
He shook his head to stop thinking about the impossible. He had come here from one mission and that was to destroy her to punish those who had kept her from him, changing their fate forever. And he had to destroy her because he couldn't stand it if she was with another.
He pushed his thoughts to the sleeping form of Siwan. The liquid bubble surrounding her had disappeared into thin air, and it had left her resting on the hard wooden table, peacefully dreaming. He gently nudged her with his pinky. She slowly began to wake, her luminous blue eyes blinking from drowsiness.
"Dangyun?" she murmured, then her eyes widened with joy. "It seems like I haven't seen you in forever!" she cried out as she slammed her minuscule body into the indention of his throat.
He cleared his throat after the impact and offered her his finger to reside on. "I put you to sleep after Faa left, my little one. I couldn't deal with it; I still can't."
"You don't have to suffer through this alone!" she said with sweet earnest. "I know we can find a way to get her back! She loves both of us! She was my only mother…"
"I had forgotten you haven't been with me for so long… so much time has passed since I removed you to your resting place. You haven't changed much, my little one. I have missed you much. I'm sorry that I didn't call you back sooner. But I needed to be alone," he explained. "And I will show you why if you close your eyes and open your mind."
She did as he told her and saw what she had missed.
Siwan felt his pain when Faa ran away because he had been dabbling into the dark arts. But she also saw that Faa would have gone back to him if he had come for her quicker than he had. She experienced his rage at Faa's refusal, and she sympathized with him. She knew how he was better than anyone. She wandered through his mind, seeing Faa break the engagement and become infatuated with Shaolin, Clow's younger brother. And then she felt his agony when he slit Faa's throat in his revenge and in his salvation. She saw the way he had come forward and all the events that had happened.
She opened her eyes suddenly, and rubbed her face against his index finger. "I understand," she murmured. "But if you hadn't been in such pain, and if you hadn't been so foolish, you would have seen she was willing to come back to you… if you hadn't fallen into deeper dark magic to rid yourself of your misery. You have changed, Dangyun. But I can see that you are in a crossroad, and that this Faa could bring you back if you don't fight her."
"I have no choice," he replied bitterly. "She doesn't love me."
Siwan flew to where she was next to his cheek and cuddled against it. "How could she not love you? I am part of her, and she is part of me. I love you, Dangyun. I love this you. You were wise to put me away until you had returned to what I loved most. All you have to do is put aside what had happened and embrace what could be. Have no regrets because she was meant for you."
"Fate has brought her only closer to Shaolin."
"They changed fate," she reasoned. "It is only your right to change it back."
"What you are asking me is just as wrong as what they did…"
"I am a creature of magic; therefore, I am wiser than anything of this earth that is alive," she said. "But I am also created of you and of her. You made me that, and how could I not want the ones that made me, together? It is only natural. You two were my parents.
"You were the one that bound me to her when said: 'like the flower by my side'! I am her to a degree, but I am also you to a degree, Dangyun. I was the part of you that was kept innocent, just like I am the part of her that is innocent, but," she said impishly, "while I have the personality of both of you entwined, I have the knowledge of my kind."
"It is said to impossible to create a magical guardian from parts of two souls," he retorted. "I just made you look like her. While, you do resemble her in the way you act, you have known her since the day you were made! Even if I said you were, 'of the enchanter, like the flower by my side…'"
"You said it yourself. I was made of you and also like the Faa by your side. You were the one that chanted that spell, and what you said is what happened. Granted, the magic didn't surface as quickly as clear as the spell obviously was because of the way you said it as if it were part of two soul, which is impossible! But yes, I am made of both of you."
"What you are suggesting is impossible! You can't be made of two souls!" he cried out.
"Unless… you two aren't different souls. And you are one and the same."
Part 10
"I guess it's decided then," Eriol said softly. "You don't have to choose your defenders then…"
"I'm kind of glad though," she responded swiftly. "It would be tough to choose any of you guys. You all have some special way that you could help me in the battle. I'm glad I don't have to make a choice. I have no idea how I could tell the ones I don't choose that I don't need them. It's just so tough… I'm glad that I don't have to pick."
"It is better this way isn't it, Sakura?" he questioned lightly.
"Yes, it is."
A silence fell as they walked in perfect coordination behind the guiding Touya. Eriol thought it was eery, and he knew it was because she now knew how he felt. He was sorry that she hadn't found out in a more desirable way. But he couldn't change that she knew it. Even though he wished he could.
"Sakura?"
"Yes, Eriol?"
"It's true… what he said," he said hoarsely. "I loved her, and I love you."
Sakura stared at her hands and felt that somehow that she had known this from the beginning, but had just not wanted to admit what she thought would be an impossibility. It had just been a vague intuition, but it her instinct was always right. She had known beforehand, but she just didn't know that it was because it was a past memory.
"Say something," he urged her in a pained voice.
She didn't know what to say. How was she suppose to say that she didn't return his feelings when what he had felt for her had gone back through time and was still here in the present life? This was harder than anything she had ever had to do, even harder than Yue's test on her. What was she suppose to say? But she knew she had to answer him, the only question was how to phrase it just right? She couldn't stand to hurt anyone's feelings.
"What I feel for you…" she began, but trailed off with an unwillingness to hurt him.
"You don't feel what I feel for you," he ended with an edge of bitterness. He caught the hurt look on her face and quickly said, "it's okay. I understand. You seem to forget I've been through this before with her. It's not a big surprise that you'd refuse me, Sakura. You are the whole reincarnation of Faa, not like Nadeshiko was. She was only half, and I think that was enough for me… to be love by half of you. She did love me, I think."
"Of course she did!" Sakura exclaimed.
"Arigato," he remarked with a smile. "I needed that."
"Will you do me a favor?" she asked quietly but with a fervent tone.
"Anything," he replied rapidly.
"I want you to tell me about Faa."
She saw his throat convulse as he swallowed his saliva with difficulty. She didn't expect it to be easy. But she needed to know something about what she was. She closed her eyes, and a tear fell out of the corner of her eye. She didn't know how, but somehow she had caused so many people pain in that lifetime…
I left Dangyun… and that caused so much tragedy with him. And by leaving him, I caused his vengeance against me, that led to Shaolin's heartache. And look at how much Eriol--Clow also loved me… I've been the one that has caused all this by just one unthoughtful gesture of selfishness. If only I had stayed with him… none of this would happen… but would I have been an happy as I am now with Syaoran?
"Sakura?"
"Yes?" she responded as she lifted her head up.
"Tell Touya we'll meet up with him later. We need to talk about this privately."
"Okay. Wait here."
She squeezed his hand reassuringly before she ran ahead to catch up to her onii-chan. Eriol saw her whisper something to him and noticed that he shook his head with a clear 'no.' But then he smiled as he saw her use her ever potent pleading look. He knew the exact second that Touya gave in to his 'kaiju.' His shoulders fell a little, and his eyes took on a look of extreme weariness as he slowly nodded his assent. Eriol had never seen a person been able to refuse that look. He hadn't been able himself.
She still cares for me in this lifetime, he thought, trying to comfort himself. She reassured me with her touch, and that meant so much to me. I needed that… how did she know? I can't believe I ruined her life when I told her that if she didn't leave Dangyun he'd become worse. Did I do that for a pure motive, or did I do it because I wanted her to turn to me when he lost it? Did I know that he was going to lose it when she left? Was I hoping that he would so I'd be able to comfort her?
It backfired on me in the past… Now all I can do is try to make up for that mistake that cost everyone so much… If I hadn't done that, would I have made the one that had worshipped Shaolin from the very beginning so unhappy? It was a costly error, and it ruined many lives… And maybe this is my chance to remedy it.
"Eriol?" she said, interrupting his flow of thoughts. "Touya told us that he'd wait for us here. He'd give us as long as we needed, but won't leave us here. He says strange things happen in the park when it gets dark. I can't believe he still doesn't know…"
Eriol didn't say anything, but he knew from the looks that Touya kept aiming at him that it wasn't because of the dark that he was staying over to watch them. It was him that Touya was worried about. He knew that Touya knew about Sakura's actions in the park, while she had been catching the Clow Cards. He moved them to a place where Touya could still watch them without overhearing any of their conversation. He didn't blame Touya; he'd behave the same way if he had Sakura for a sister. She just inspired a protective instinct in others.
"I have a feeling this is going to be a long story," Sakura predicted knowingly.
"The past always has a long story, it seems," he murmured with a hesitant smile.
"But you should tell it from the beginning…"
"I am. Are you ready?" he inquired.
"I'm ready."
"I first met you when you were a little, cute cherub. Both Dangyun and I were in our teens, but you were younger. You loved to follow him everywhere he went. You were happy to be with us. I didn't realized at the time, but your parents had arranged for you to be married to him. I don't think any of us knew it at the time. Because normally a young girl wasn't allowed outside the family lands; you were though. I guess you could say I was enchanted with you from the moment I saw you…
"I saw you every summer when Dangyun would visit me. He brought you along like you were his 'xiao mei mei.' Every year you two got closer and I became slightly jealous of the relationship between the two of you. One year, that childish jealousy disappeared when you turned thirteen. Suddenly, you weren't an errant child anymore. You were a beautiful, young woman, and I began to love you as a such. You had blossomed into a beauty in only a year. But--I meant nothing to you. You only had eyes for him…
"I don't know if you knew at that age you were to be his 'wife.' However, it was easy to see that you adored him. You two were happy and perfect together. You seem to know what the other wanted or needed without having to be told by the other. And I wanted that… Dangyun didn't think of you as more than his best friend until the next year I saw you again. I could tell something had changed.
"He would glare at me whenever you paid even the slightest attention to me. It's as if he knew how I really felt… I tried to suppress the feelings I felt for you, but there's only so much a person can hide inside. Dangyun and I were 24; you were 16 at the time. He confronted me with my feelings for you, and I admitted as much. I knew then that our friendship wasn't going to ever be the same as it was. Neither of us could stop feeling what we felt for you.
"I was the wrong one though. He was right to love you, and I told him that I wouldn't interfere anymore. I didn't keep that promise, though. I became concern two years later when he started to dabble experimentally into the dark arts. I warned him that it was wrong to even read the book in the first place, but he didn't listen to me. I don't blame him for not listening to me, if I was talking to a man that loved the girl I loved, I'd probably react the same way.
"It was when he tried to conjure his first spell that I drew the line. I begged you to come with me for you own safety. You were confused and worried. You hated feeling helpless. I finally managed to convince you to come with me when after he tried that spell. You were horrified because you couldn't believe that he would do such a thing. Somehow, I don't know how--Dangyun had fallen into a spiraling emotional whirl. Your departure set the spark, and he absorbed himself into his dark magic.
"You were heartbroken when you heard that he had begun to write his first book on the dark arts. You wanted to go back, but I prevented you. Your haunted face has never left me… I was wrong to keep you with me. I'm so sorry… but was it so wrong to keep you with me? You still didn't want me. You wanted him. I finally relented for you to go back, but Shaolin changed everything when he swept into your life.
"You had known him when you were a little girl. At that time, the elders of the clan hadn't known that he had possessed no magical talent whatsoever. He joined us in our excursions until you were 7. I don't think you ever forgot about him. He was away for 10 years studying from his teacher, a master at the sword. He returned in time to learn all about Dangyun and what had happened.
"Somehow, he captured your heart when you were hurting. I think it was because he was the epitome of everything you had ever wanted. He was handsome, strong, and honorable. But you still couldn't forget about Dangyun even though we both kept telling you that he was gone and lost to you. Your family even broke off the engagement when they heard about the path that he had gone. They offered Shaolin your hand, and you didn't protest.
"Yet, I could tell though you still believed in Dangyun. You believed you could change him. In your own way, I think you did love Shaolin with something very deep inside of you. Whatever it was, it wasn't like what you felt for Dangyun. That love defied everything. You loved him even though he turned to the dark side of life. However, you slowly accepted Shaolin to be your husband. He was thrilled because he loved you with every fiber in him.
"One night, the girl that had been previously promised to Shaolin showed up at our lands. She ranted and raved to you that you had stolen her 'true love.' You, of course, felt awful and retreated back into your room. I was here hoping that you'd come to me. I didn't doubt I could persuade your parents that a union with a sorceror wouldn't be so bad, even though what had happened to Dangyun had been tragic.
"Shaolin came to you and told you he loved you, only you. It seemed to work, but a fortnight later you disappeared. We didn't know what happened to you, but I could make a guess. Ever since Dangyun and I were 16, we would have magical battles. I had always won. This time it was different, he was fully in control of the dark arts and I feared a confrontation with him. I knew somehow he had managed to get you to come to him, or that you went to him. Either way, I knew it, and I didn't stop it.
"Shaolin went to search for you. I told him that it was no use if Dangyun had taken you. Shaolin wouldn't be able to find you, especially if you didn't wish to be found. I don't know what made Dangyun kill you; I think it was for revenge more than anything. Yet, I can't imagine why he would do that. I knew him; I knew the pain he must have felt when he slit her--your throat. I can only imagine what he must have felt…
"He had to be demented when he killed you. There was no other way he could have killed you. And also he must have felt a burning rage when Shaolin came to get you. I wondered if he really would have ended your life if Shaolin hadn't come. I can't blame any of them. I can only blame myself… I didn't fight him. And you died for it.
"I'm so sorry, Sakura…"
"It's--it's okay," she said in a trembling voice. Tears had spilled down her cheeks as he told him the story. She couldn't believe how tragic it seemed. The only thing she knew was that if she had been able to relive anything, she wouldn't have changed a thing she had done. There was no one to blame. She just wondered what had caused Dangyun to do what he did.
"I'm sorry," he cried out.
She blinked away the rest of her tears and wrapped her arms around Eriol, hugging him. "It's not your fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. Somewhere in the story, there's a missing piece that caused all this. And it certainly wasn't your fault. How could you want to fight Dangyun for the first time as an enemy? For this time, he wasn't going to be using good magic against you in fun; he was going to use dark magic to try and kill you."
Sakura pulled away from him quickly after she had said what she just said. She hadn't known how she had known to say that. It was then that a gentle breeze caressed her face with a motherly tenderness. She lifted her head to the sky and closed her eyes, drinking in the delicious feeling. She wasn't alone in this.
There were details trapped inside her mind that needed to be released. She felt the wind squeeze her hand in a 'you've got it' gesture. She wanted to shout that she understood that the only way out of this horror was for her to remember everything, combining all of the memories to reform what had been the piece that had caused this living nightmare.
The wind died down, but not before whispering to Sakura, you know him… you know him…
"I know him…" she murmured delicately.
Part 11
"I'm worried about, Sakura," declared Shaolin.
He knew he wasn't the only one. The present version of himself had been pacing across the living like a caged beast--precisely like a wolf. He narrowed his eyes when Syaoran abruptly swung around to look at him with a menacing stare. He personally wondered when he had turned into such a grump. He couldn't remember a time when he had ever acted that way. But then again he had never before seen a past reincarnation of himself, either.
"They're taking too long to get here," Syaoran growled. "They should have been here a half hour ago! What's taking them so long?"
Tomoyo blinked from her position on the coach. "Eriol should be back here as well. They've both taken entirely too long to get back here. Didn't Eriol say he was just going to scout around the area?"
Kero nodded affirmatively. "But it could take a while to get even a whiff of Dangyun."
"I've never had a problem finding a magical presense, stuffed animal," Syaoran remarked.
Kero glared at Syaoran and was about to launch himself at the brat when Tomoyo grabbed his tail. "Kero and I are going into the kitchen to get some snacks ready. I'll also call Sakura to find out what's taking them so long."
Kero brightened up immensely at the word 'snack,' but that still didn't totally divert his attention from the annoying nickname that the brat continued to call him. He threw another fierce look at Syaoran before following Tomoyo into the kitchen where the delights of food were. His tail twitched in anticipation of the lovely desserts, and he wondered if he could possibly convince Tomoyo to whip up something special since they had left before they could order dessert at the restaurant.
"Kero's right," Shaolin commented.
"About trying to find Dangyun?" inquired Syaoran.
"Yes."
Yukito's eyes flipped from one to the other and sensed an incredible tensions between Syaoran and Shaolin. He decided to make his exit and hoped that they wouldn't figure out that he didn't want to be there when the argument started. He calmly interrupted them when his stomach obliged him by growling in hunger. "I think I'd better go get something to eat. I still haven't had my dessert yet."
"He really eats a lot," Shaolin remarked, watching Yukito exit, "to think that he's still hungry after that gigantic meal."
"I think that Eriol was overreacting during dinner," Syaoran told Shaolin. "I didn't even feel the slightest hint of a dark aura around."
"I'm not surprised you didn't feel Dangyun's aura. Even Clow Reed had to try to sense it."
"I don't think auras are so hard to feel," he said firmly. "Even if Dangyun is shielding his aura, dark magic is easy to make out because it's tainted."
"Therein lies the problem," Shaolin murmured, "because Dangyun's aura isn't dark."
"Isn't dark? If killing the one he loves isn't evil, I don't know what is!" Syaoran exclaimed. "To top that off, he has written some of the most comprehensive books on dark magic! How can his aura not be dark?"
"You know about the books?" Shaolin queried with his eyebrow raised in surprise.
Syaoran had the guilt to look sheepish. "I stole into the hidden part of the library one night and finger through it. But it was only because it was forbidden, and I was just a child back then. I didn't know any better," he responded defensively.
"Dangyun isn't evil; he isn't totally evil. He doesn't have a dark aura, which means that even though that he 'practices' black magic, he is still within control enough to pull out of the strong pull of those forces. The dark power isn't controlling him; he's controlling them. It's part of the reason you can't feel him. He's not dark, and you've been instinctively searching for an evil source. You've been searching for the wrong kind of magic. If anything, his aura should be grey or a pale silver," Shaolin explained to him.
"It's impossible! You're suggesting he has mastery over two completely different magics," said Syaoran in disbelief.
"He does. He's the only magician I know of that has high expertise in both black and white magic. That makes him more than formidable for even Clow Reed, who is the Master of White Magic. It's nearly unfeasible to find him because of that. He knows not only the 'right' way to hide an aura, but the 'wrong' way to disguise it. You have to search for an aura unlike any in the universe. He's not easy to find; he's impossible to find if he doesn't want to be found. Only my onii-chan knew how to find him."
"Then we're never going to find him, is that what you are saying?" asked Syaoran with an edge of anger.
"I know where to find him," murmured Shaolin.
"Where then?" Syaoran demanded.
"Where the flower is, the bee will surely follow."
"Then we have to find Sakura!"
"Now, you understand why I'm worried if Eriol has even caught a whiff of Dangyun's aura," said Shaolin, all of a sudden weary. "I hope that she gets back here as safe as possible, and that she hasn't run into Dangyun just yet."
Syaoran nodded stiffly.
"YUMMY!" Kero yelled as he burst into the living room with chocolate all over his face.
"KERO! I told you to wait until Sakura and Eriol got back!" Tomoyo reprimanded the guardian.
"Oh, but I didn't touch it first! The snow bunny did it first!" Kero accused Yukito of the heinous crime, pointing the finger.
"What?" Yukito queried after he had licked the remaining sugary sweet cream from his hands. When he finally understood what was happening, he shook his head in denial. "I saw Kero hovering over it… I couldn't help it. Gomen, Tomoyo."
She threw her hands up in the air with resignation. "Just don't eat what's left, okay?"
The eyes on both Yukito and Kero popped open. They turned to Tomoyo with pleading puppy eyes, begging her to let them finish the rest of the chocolate cake. Tomoyo tried to stare them down but failed at the earnest expressions on their faces. She sighed and set the cake down on the coffee table. It wasn't long before Kero and Yukito were diving into the cake.
"Are they always like this?" Shaolin asked no one in particular.
Tomoyo laughed at the look on his face and replied, "they're usually worse than this."
"We should be working on a plan not eating ourselves sick," Syaoran said reproachfully. "If Dangyun's here as Eriol thinks we won't have much to come up with anything to help Sakura.
"Did you call her?" Shaolin inquired, suddenly remembering that Tomoyo had said that she was going to call Sakura.
"I did."
"Well?" exclaimed Shaolin and Syaoran simultaneously.
"They're heading back here. They should be here soon," Tomoyo replied.
"What took them so long?" Yukito asked.
"I don't really know. But Eriol's with her. I didn't have a long time to talk to her because her battery was low," Tomoyo said thoughtfully. "That reminds me that I should have gotten the newest Nokia phones last week! With the Li-ION battery, it's has even more energy and more light-weight! I wonder if she wants matching ones or this time I should I get more individualized cells?"
"What is she talking about?" Shaolin whispered to Kero.
"Nothing much," Kero answered. "Tomoyo likes to buy cells for Sakura because she talks to her the most. She likes for Sakura to have the best that money can buy. She likes to be able to keep in touch with Sakura constantly. It's useful for knowing where she is in time like these."
"She's so much like Ji-li," remarked Shaolin.
"Whose Ji-li?" inquired Tomoyo with interest sparkling in her eyes.
"Faa's best friend. It seems that everyone from then has been reincarnated again. I see her in you. You both cared a great deal about Sakura. You two were inseparable from what I've been told by Faa. I only saw you once, but I never forgot what a good friend you were to Faa. I know it must have caused you great sadness whenever she left in the summer. I know you weren't the only one feeling that way. Faa would get homesick near the end of her stay, and then she would return home. If anything you two are even closer in this lifetime," Shaolin said reverently.
"She's my best friend," Tomoyo told him. "I'd go anywhere to be with her."
"I'm sure you would."
"Tell me more about Ji-li," Tomoyo requested.
Shaolin scratched the top of his head. "I really never got to know you very well, but I do know you don't look the same. That was why I never connected you to 'Ji-li' before this moment. But your personalities are extremely similar. I do remember one memory that stood out when I saw you. Your servant girl was piled behind you carrying bolts of bright silks. If I'm not mistaken, even then you had the gift of the needle. Both of you disappeared for the rest of the afternoon, huddled inside Faa's chambers. You had come to prepare her wedding dress. We were to be married before the onslaught of winter.
"You left before Faa was taken by Dangyun. You had your own wedding to see to. I remember Faa saying, 'I'll be there. I won't miss it.' But she missed it," his voice was breaking up now in sorrow. "We sent news to you, but knowing how it travels back then, it's hard to say if it even arrived. And then, I came here to protect Faa, so I don't know what has happened since then."
"What does Ji-li mean?" whispered Tomoyo in question.
"Lucky and beautiful," Syaoran responded before Shaolin.
"It means exactly what you are," Shaolin added.
"It's too bad I wasn't a reincarnation back then," Yukito said without thinking.
"You were Yue back then!" cried out Kero.
"I forgot about him," Yukito said after he thought about it. "Well, if you think about it Yue and I are totally different people."
"You can say that again," Kero mumbled to no one in particular.
"What?" asked Yukito with puzzlement.
"I just confirmed what you said," Kero explained.
"Why didn't you say so then?" Yukito said, still slightly confused.
Kero just shook his head and whispered to Shaolin, "I think all that food he consumes goes to his head."
"And it doesn't go to your head?" Tomoyo shot back at him, having overheard his remark.
Kero made an extravagant show of trying to look innocent but failed miserably. Syaoran laughed and exclaimed, "the stuffed animal never knows when to stop while he's ahead. It's a wonder he's even the guardian of the Clow book."
"He makes a good guardian," Shaolin replied defensively.
"Why does he like you?" Syaoran asked Kero, ignoring Shaolin.
Kero smiled. "You two aren't quite the same exact person, although you do look astonishing similar. Hai, you do have the same soul, but your magical abilities are distinctively different. Shaolin doesn't have any, as you all know. And if you didn't know or weren't paying attention," shooting a look at Yukito who was finishing off the last of the chocolate cake, "now you know."
"It still doesn't explain why you two are close," Syaoran retorted.
"It should. Your magical abilities are closer to Yue's than mine are. Yours is much more 'Eastern' and 'moonish' than mine are. If anything your best element is water, and it shows in the way you are able to control lightening well because water conducts it," Kero explained sensibly.
"So you and me clash?"
"Not exactly, I just don't like you that much," Kero stated bluntly.
"You're just more attracted to Shaolin, aren't you?" Syaoran asked with a teasing glint.
Kero glared at Syaoran, and he was about to launch himself at Syaoran when the door flew open unexpectedly. Everyone in the room turned to stare at the three in the doorway: Touya, Eriol, and Sakura. Sakura blinked and exclaimed, "hoe! Why are you guys so surprised? Didn't Tomoyo-chan tell you I was going to be here soon?"
"I told them you were coming, but Kero and Syaoran just had to get into an argument," Tomoyo responded, filling Sakura in on what had just happened.
"Hoe!"
Part 12
It didn't take Shaolin and Syaoran very long to figure out something was wrong with Sakura. It wasn't only in the physical sense. Though, her cheeks were not flushed with the vibrant energy she usually exhibited. Instead, they were strangely pale. Her eyes were still rimmed from the remnants of her tears. And Shaolin saw that Sakura and Eriol were holding hands. The rage that went through him banished all other thoughts. He didn't even notice that she was also holding onto her onii-chan's head.
Syaoran felt an unmistakable sadness surrounding Sakura. He could feel it, just as he could always feel her presense. He always knew where to find her. It didn't matter where she was or what she was doing. He could always feel the strength of her aura. He wondered what had caused this. He wanted to go to her and ask her. But he hesitated, not quite sure what had caused this sorrow. He needed to find out before plunging into uncharted territory. He absolutely was sure he didn't want to make a fool of himself infront of Shaolin.
"What's wrong, Sakura?" His voice had a warm timber in it that caused a shaky smile on her lips.
The anger in Shaolin surged when he saw Sakura glance up at Eriol with a meaningful look. There's something going on that I don't like, he thought bitterly. I knew that he never got over the fact that she doesn't love him. Now, he's trying to steal her away from my back! Not only my back, but our back's! She's not yours! She was never yours! She's not even mine anymore…
Eriol coughed as he caught her drift. She wanted him to explain what happened earlier today. He cleared his throat and said, "Dangyun is here."
"Are you sure?" asked Tomoyo worriedly.
"Yes," he answered gravely. "Because he was right under our noses all this time."
"What?!" exclaimed Syaoran and Kero at the same time.
"Dangyun was 'Tooya' in disguise. Even though I didn't meet him, I should have been able to feel his vibe before he obvious sent me his sign. I didn't find him; he found me," muttered Eriol under his breath. "I probably couldn't find him if he didn't want to be found now. I'm not at full strength anymore. If I had--if I had known this would happen I would have never split my soul into two."
"But I understand why you did it," Sakura murmured comfortingly. "You did it for love. And no one can blame you for that."
"Not even you?" he asked hoarsely.
"Not even me."
"Could someone please tell me what is going on?" Kero inquired loudly.
"Sakura knows I loved her," Eriol said painfully.
The silence that filled the news with the information was deathly. Touya had a look of exasgerated annoyance at all of the boys he had to protect Sakura from. Yukito was even more confused than before, and he only wanted to be hugged by Touya. Syaoran's mind was whirling with this latest bit of information, knowing full well he had suspected of such a thing. Tomoyo wasn't at all surprised; she had known from the very beginning Eriol had an eye for Sakura. She just hadn't known how deeply he felt it. Kero, of course, knew that Clow Reed had been in love with Faa; he just had thought Clow had gotten over it. And Shaolin was shaking in fury. He had known his onii-chan had never really given up his feelings for Faa!
"I never thought my own onii-chan would betray me," Shaolin said resentfully.
"You're wrong," Eriol stated quietly. "I know you two belong together. But that's only because--nevermind. I would never try to stop your relationship with her."
"Now, that's a BIG change. Why did you change your mind?" Shaolin inquired with a sharp sarcasm. "Or maybe you think this show will win her?"
"This isn't a show!" cried out Eriol. "And we should be concentrating on what's important! Dangyun is here! And I just hope that the 'shifting between times' caused enough of a dent in his strength that he won't be at his best. If he is, it will be almost impossible to beat him."
"You are just trying to avoid this conversation," Shaolin replied. "I always knew you resented my relationship with Faa. I never really knew why. Why don't you tell me, onii-chan? Have you suddenly made up for it, by gifting this new me? Why do I suddenly have 'magical powers' in this lifetime? Was this because of your guilt? Because you couldn't live with it?"
"What guilt?" queried Syaoran, interrupting the heated conversation.
"I suppose you wouldn't know would you?" Shaolin questioned with a wry smile. "Well, while I was chasing off after Dangyun, my onii-chan was in his 'magical rooms.' He knew what was going on. But he didn't stop it. Maybe he thought that Dangyun would just let her come back to me. But he didn't, did he, my dear onii-chan? No, he killed her. And I don't think he felt the least bit sorry or even pained that he killed her. He did it like a person without a soul. And a person without a soul doesn't deserve to live."
"YOU'RE WRONG!" cried out Sakura. "He has a soul. He has a soul!" Tears spilled down her face as she broke away from Eriol's comforting hold. She had tried to listen to the conversation with an unfeeling heart. But she couldn't. She wasn't like that. If anything, she felt too deeply. "I don't understand. I don't understand!" Sakura wept openly.
Shaolin tried to go to her, but Eriol block his way. Instead, Syaoran reached her first, though he was farther from her. He held her in his arms as she cried. He whispered tender endearments into her ears as her tears wracked her body. She sobbed in a broken voice. She babbled stuff that he couldn't make sense of. But he listened, and he held her.
"Why didn't you let me comfort her?" asked Shaolin angrily.
"Because it's not right," Eriol answered wearily. "My past self, Clow Reed, made a mistake by allowing you forward! I was a fool back then! Even though I was stronger back then, I wasn't any smarter than I am now! I don't have all the solutions, and I certainly can't predict the future! I thought everything would be perfect this time. But nothing ever seems to turn out right does it? And I made the biggest mistake of that lifetime by allowing you to come here. You can't lover her here! You can only mourn her there!"
"But it doesn't change the way I feel!" Shaolin said anguishly. "NOTHING will ever change the way I feel for her--for Sakura!"
"I caused all this," Sakura said in a small voice, shuddering against Syaoran's warmth. "I caused all this pain."
"Don't ever say that!" Syaoran declared hotly. "You could never do anything to hurt anyone."
"Then, how can you explain all this heartache?"
Syaoran smiled easily. "Is it a crime to be loved by so many?" he countered.
"No," she whispered against his chest. "It's not a crime, but to cause so much pain… that is something I never wished to do."
"You can't stop someone from loving you," Eriol said calmly. "I never regretted loving you. And besides, if you've never felt pain, Sakura--how do you know you've ever been in love?"
"My love, I don't have anything but good memories of you," Shaolin told her, trying to smile beneath the internal grief.
"It's the same way I feel," Eriol murmured in agreement with Shaolin, nodding his head respectfully. "You should never blame yourself. You were the only one innocent in this whole mess."
"But how do you know that?" she asked with a trembling voice. "Were you there the moment before Shaolin got there? I must have done something awful to cause him to want to kill me. I must have done something unforgiveable. He loved me. Dangyun loved me--still loves me. So what did I do to make him kill me?"
"I always wanted to know that myself," Eriol responded honestly. "I doubt that he would ever answer that question."
"Why is that?" Tomoyo queried.
"Because I don't think he knows why he did it, himself."
"I've had enough of this complex love triangle--hexagon--pentagon--octagon how many of you are there exactly?" Touya grumbled the question.
"Let's see," Yukito began. "There's Syaoran, of course. Then, there's Shaolin, Syaoran's past self. Next, is Eriol. And lastly, Dangyun. That makes it a square? Rhombus? Parallelogram!? Oh, how would you say it?" Yukito muttered with a tragic tone.
"I think you need to catch up on your geometry, Yuki," said Touya warmly, glancing down at Yukito who had pounced into his arms during the grave conversation.
"I think we need to figure out what to do about Dangyun," Tomoyo declared pointedly. "If he's as powerful as Eriol says he is, we're going to need all the luck and talent that we have here! So why don't we get to work?"
Everyone nodded in agreement. "That's a good idea," Eriol replied.
Sakura smiled at her best friend. She's always there to straighten out whatever mess I get into, Sakura thought. But, how can I tell everything that I don't want to fight him? I don't think it's about the will or the strength to do it… I just don't want to. Because--because… I don't know. I have to, but something inside of me says that I won't be able to do it. And my intuition is almost never wrong.
"Are you okay, Sakura?" asked Syaoran with concern.
"I'm great!" she exclaimed with pretend excitement. "Let's brainstorm!"
He watched her jumped from his arms and lead the group upstairs to her bedroom. He followed her silently, noting that the false cheerfulness didn't disguise the slight quiver in her voice. She was scared of something. And he wanted to find out. He would get to the bottom of this. He would protect her no matter what the costs. He couldn't stand to see her get hurt in any fashion.
I love you, Sakura. You never have to be scared of anything if I'm around. I'll protect you until my last drop of blood falls from my veins. I won't stop until I'm dead. I hope you know that, he thought wistfully. I hope you know I'd die to protect you. I want you to know that my life has no meaning without you. I never knew pure love until I met you. It's your greatest gift, Sakura, and your greatest strength. The power of your love… could defeat anything. And if it can't… I'll be there to make things right. Aishiteru, Sakura. I always will.