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Author: Yih
Written: 1998
Revised: March 2001
Dedication: To my mad editor (worldmage)
Author's Note: Enjoy and pleave review.
Her salty tears mingled with the raindrops as the sky seemed to cry with her.
Her incredible sadness became outrage as she yelled at God, at the unfairness
of life, at everything that was doing this to her… "Why him? TELL
ME, GOD, why must you torture me?"
The torrent of tears stopped as she shuddered the rest of her bitterness away. Her cancer had yet to go into remission, and his cancer had just come out of remission. There was little chance that he was going to survive through this latest onslaught. He had already slipped into a coma. But she prayed that he would have the luck to be one of the ones fate spun life into, as fate had been the one that had allowed them to meet in the first place…
The devastating news came on Christmas Eve, which also happened to be her 17th birthday. The phone call came when her birthday dinner was almost over and her mother was about to place the cake on the table. Her mother had been about to reach and take the cake to the dining room when the phone rang.
She turned to pick it up and listened calmly, her face suddenly went pale when the doctor said in a clear and serious voice, "we are 100% sure that your daughter has acute leukemia. Mrs. Adelon, the chances of your daughter surviving is extremely high. Luckily, we caught the cancer at a relatively early stage. She will be able to resume her normal life once this chapter of her life has passed. We would like it if you came as soon as possible so we can begin treatment."
Her mother blinked, squeezing her eyes shut. She willed herself not to cry as she hung the phone up. She glanced over her shoulder, making sure that no one was standing at the kitchen door watching her. She gave a ragged sigh and with the cake, stepped out of the kitchen.
The sight of her mother's pale face alarmed her. But the feeling subsided when her mother's lips broke into a bright smile. She thought that her mother really must be working too hard. She decided that she ought to start helping out more with the chores. Her mother placed the cake on the table then said in a hoarse voice, "Eve, the doctor called."
Eve looked up at her mother as did her father and her twin brother. The tears that her mother had fought so hard to withheld poured down her face. And though her mother tried, she couldn't get a recognizable sound of a word through her miserable sobs. Her father stood up with a blank face and encircled his arms around her. He held his wife and murmured, "it's okay, my love. Everything is going to be okay."
Her mother shook her head then finally managed to say in a voice full of pain and sadness, "no, no it's not! The doctor called…, to tell us- Eve has acute leukemia."
Her mother's sobbing continued after she had made her announcement. Eve stood, staring at the heart-wrenching scene with a stormy expression on her face. She ran out of the dining room after just standing there watching. She went to her sanction, her room and curled into a ball on her window seat. She stared out at the falling snow, wondering if she would live to see another white winter. Her eyes glittered with the tears that had so readily fallen from her mother's that she refused to shed because she would not let herself indulge in self pity and the fact that she was dying.
The doctor who examined her said that she had caught the leukemia in the early stages. It was very likely they could help her. She stared with blank eyes at the scene of the nurses and doctors rushing around, while she wished they would move more slowly, time had already run out for her.
Her doctor, Dr. Naylor said in a brisk voice as she entered the room, "we'll start chemotherapy next week. We'll give you some medicine to balance the side affects of nausea and the occasional risk of infection."
She nodded, knowing that was the only response that the doctor wanted, not a load of questions of did they think she would be one of the 70% that survived? She was curious enough to want to know the verdict, but was cowardly enough not to ask. She stood and walked out of Dr. Naylor's office when a tall, slender to the point of gauntness boy walked into the room with a beautiful smile on his face.
The smile was still on his face when his hazel eyes met her gray ones. He murmured casually, "I'm Troy." He laughed softly and then whispered into her ear, "I see you've met the infamous Dr. Naylor, more likely known as the dragon."
He winked at her as Dr. Naylor retorted, "I see you, Mr. Conrad are spreading more rumors about me. He's trying to circulate lies about my all known cruelness to him, Eve."
Troy grinned and said to her, "did I say such a thing? I thought I was rather complimenting the old dragon."
She smiled for the first time in the days since she heard that she had acute leukemia. She remarked, "or rather it was a statement he thought was a compliment."
Troy raised his eyebrows and she laughed, saying teasingly, "I thought it was rather a statement made about yourself that was glossed over and named for someone else."
He rolled his eyes up in the direction of heaven and drawled, "now Missy, you have to give me your name after that!"
She smiled and grabbed a pen, taking his hand and writing in her distinctive handwriting:
Eve Adelon 775-8627
He gave a wolfish smile and whistled appreciatively as she turned to walk out of the office.
It was a day after her first chemotherapy treatment, and she had just finished her examination with Dr. Naylor when she saw Troy leaning against the wall. He gave her a grin and fell in step with her as she walked down the hall to the chilly bite of the winter air. His grin was still on his face when he greeted her, "hey Eve."
Eve turned to face him with a stony look on her face. "What do you want?"
There was a pause before he asked, seeing that she was in no way going to tell him, "how did it go?"
"How did what go?" Eve asked in a brittle voice.
Troy caught her shoulders in his hands and held her there, facing him. His serious hazel eyes looked a bit frustrated and concerned as he murmured, "how did your chemotherapy treatment go?"
She shot back, "how do you think it went? You've been to chemo, don't you know? Now, just leave me alone!"
She shrugged out of his grasp and started walking as fast as she could away from him, when his hand caught her arm and stopped her marching tirade. He gave her a lopsided smile and bent his dirty blond colored head, saying in a half joking tone, "well, think carefully Eve, you don't have to go for another four weeks."
Eve glared at him. " I don't see how you can be so cheerful all the time. Don't you ever loose it totally?"
The same glowing smile that had touched his lips the first time she saw him was on his face again, he remarked in a calm voice, "Yeah, I do. But sometimes Eve, all you can do is to take it one day at a time. Don't think ahead, it will make you so mad at the injustice that you can't enjoy life." His smile faltered and he continued, "Eve, sometimes all that is ever needed is a bit of hopeful wishing and a hug to brighten a gloomy day."
With that remark, his arms encircled her. He held her as a tear fell from her gray eyes. He mumbled, "Eve, I'll always be there for you."
Eve pulled away from him and with surprised gray eyes, stared at him. She said in a shaking voice, "you can hardly make that promise!"
His hazel eyes twinkled and his lips curved into an amused half smile. "Oh, yes I can. There's nothing you can do to stop me, Eve."
"Nothing?" Her face was tilted, and her eyebrow lifted up, challenging him to contradict his own words.
He merely winked and drawled, "nothing at all, a promise is forever you know."
The recent visit to Dr. Naylor was far from the happiness she had felt the first time, the day she had of course met Troy. The chemotherapy had totally warped her of her energy and it had made her feel even crappier than before. The only thing that brightened her day was when Troy called.
Her twin, Tom, had picked up the phone and said in a lazy voice, "it's your boyfriend, Eve."
She grabbed it out of his hand and said in an almost enlivened voice, which was quite a contradiction to what her body felt like. She said softly, "it's me, Eve."
She could almost see him smiling at her when he said in a silky voice, "I'd recognize your voice anywhere, angel."
"Troy, are you teasing me?" she coyly asked.
He laughed softly, and she imagined him shaking his head, raising an eyebrow saying comically. "You must be joking." Then he added, "when I first saw you, you reminded me of a lost angel who was missing her glorious halo. I almost blinked, and if you must know I did pinch myself to make sure that the vision of perfection was real. You were to my utter amazement."
Eve felt suddenly like the life of her had been dragged out of her as the energy that she had first felt slide completely out of her. She said in a voice of exhaustion, "I had a chemo treatment today."
His voice was full of compassion as he asked, "how did it go?"
"I feel like I was beaten and left for the dogs," she answered truthfully.
He murmured, "do you feel up to staying awake and keeping little old insignificant me from being lonely?"
"Yeah, I do," she replied.
That was the last thing she said. He did all the talking for the next two hours,
telling her when he was first diagnosed with acute leukemia at
age 15. He had been in remission for nearly two years, and had gone in for the
usual check up to see if there were any signs that the cancer might spring itself
to life once more. It was 10 pm when he finally said in a concerned voice, "get
some sleep, angel. I love you."
She finally allowed her tired mind to rest when she heard his last words; she fell asleep with a serene smile upon her face.
The next few months were some of the happiest days of her life. She spent every
waking moment with Troy when they weren't in school. They had the ill luck of
going to different schools. Once Troy had teasing said, "I wonder if I
ever would have met you if I hadn't been the one to say hello first, my shy
angel."
She had swat him in the head and exclaimed, "of course, it was fate that allowed us to meet. Not your playful exuberance!"
His hazel eyes grew serious as he asked, "do you really believe in fate?"
"I didn't believe in fate until I met you, Troy," her gray eyes were calm and full of solemn thinking.
He almoset wanted to cry with joy because the love for him was so obvious in her misty gray eyes. The words he had said to her several weeks ago, she murmured so softly he almost missed them, "I love you too, Troy."
Even though it was a public place, he leaned down and brushed his lips over hers. With his hand, he caressed her cheek. He brushed a stray piece of her light blond hair away from her face and whispered, "you are the light in my dark world, Eve."
It was early May, they had been going out every since they met that momentous
day in December. He had pleaded with her, of course, in his light-hearted way
that he wanted her to go with him to his Senior Prom, since both of their Proms
happened to be on the same day. She had smiled and given in, since they both
knew he was the more mulish one between the two of them.
She had laughed and kissed the tip of his nose, "I give up! You win, Troy!"
"Was there any doubt?" Troy asked, raising an eyebrow.
She smiled and the look in her gray eyes said, 'no there had been no doubt that they were going to be going to his Prom.'
She had chosen a beautiful, silver-blue dress that Tom had stated, 'made her look like a fairy queen' to wear to Troy's Senior Prom.
Troy arrived dressed in an elegant black suit 'that made him even more gorgeous than he should be,' Eve had complimented with amused gray eyes. Troy had laughed when she said that and retorted, "you're the fairest of them all, Princess."
She smiled and stood patiently waiting as he pinned the corsage to her dress. When he finished, she tugged his arm, and they strolled out the door with no wrroies on their minds. He opened the door to his black corveet and asked after they were half-way to the hotel, "which colleges have accepted you?"
She looked into his hazel eyes that she knew so well. The subject that they
had avoided for the last two weeks had cruelly popped up out of the blue, she
muttered, "Yale and Emerson."
Troy broke into a grin. "Both of them have accepted me, too."
She smiled as he brushed his lips over her forehead. The corvette stopped suddenly
as they arrived in front of the hotel. The last day of their
high schools lives were unfolding.
They walked in, Troy's arm casually wrapped around her hip. The first thing
they heard when they walked in was Ebba Forsberg's voice
singing, "hold me, just hold me, hold me please… Let me rest in the
sunshine of your embrace, oh how I cry… Just hold me, hold me please…"
Troy looked down and whispered, "would you like to honor me with this dance?"
Eve nodded and together they danced in the moonlight of midnight as all their future plans and hopes were put on hold for this one special night.
An alarming phone call came two weeks after her monthly chemotherapy treatment
from Mrs. Conrad. Troy's mother said that his cancer had come out of remission.
Eve had dropped the phone and slumped against the wall, the thoughts of how
exhuasted and how pale he had been looking the past few days haunted her mind.
She stared out at the gray sky, a sky that matched her own gray eyes.
She picke dup the phone and with a shaking voice asked, "how is he doing, Mrs. Conrad?"
She could almost see Troy's mother's maternal smile as she said brokenly, "he's asking for you, Eve."
She nodded numbly until she remembered that Mrs. Conrad couldn't see her, "I'm coming over as soon as I can."
Tears threatened to stream down her cheeks, but she forced herself not to cry because if she cried, she wouldn't be able to drive to the hospital to see him. She finally managed to drive to the hosptial recklessly; along the way, she thought bitterly, why was he dying? Why was God being cruel to her? The emotions raging inside of her were selfish that when she finally arrived at the hospital she was disgusted with herself.
A tear slid down her cheek as she entered Troy's private hospital room in the intensive care unit. He lifted his head, as week and tired as she obviously was, trying to make the supreme effort to look upon her. He smiled in his usual lazy way, and for a second she thought, 'he's going to be just fine!'
Then he coughed, lost his grip on the bed rail and fell onto his back. Her hope that his cancer had come out of remission had been merely a false alarm turned to dread when she faced the fact that Troy's cancer had indeed come out of remission. She thought furiously, 'it isn't fair that he should die!'
His warm, but feeble voice said in a bare whisper, "angel, you finally arrived. I worried that something had happened to you."
He worried, she knew because he knew that she drove like a maniac when any
emotion overtook her. She murmured, "nothing could sotp me
from coming here, Troy."
The smile that had appeared on his face was so full of love that it caused a small smile on her lips. But it didn't last as she sobbed uncontrollably and felt the arms of Mrs. Conrad holding her because her son could not. Mrs. Conrad whispered, "it's all right to cry, dear child."
She felt Mrs. Conrad's tears trickling down her own cheeks as she looked around her shoulders and saw the calmness of Troy's face. It was almost as if she was looking at a corpse. She shook her head fiercely. He couldn't be dead; he smiply couldn't leave her alone with the demon. She broke away from Mrs. Conrad's arms and ran as fast as she could away from the scene that overpowered her grip on sanity and sense.
"Troy," she whispered.
She stared up at the sky and wondered why she was crying here, out alone when Troy was still in the hospital. She closed her eyes and felt the pain sweep over her at the fact he was dying. But he wasn't gone yet. There was still time to spend with im and be joyful of the tim eleft, even though he was in a coma. He said she was the light in his dark world, she must not fail him now when he needed her the most…
1998-2001 © Yih